Our cover picture with the caption HILFE, LASST MICH HIER RAUS! (“Help, let me out
of here!), and the following article by Hans Ruesch, freely translated from the German,
are from the Christmas 1983 issue of the CIVIS-SCHWEIZ Bulletin. A short time before,
the picture had appeared on the cover of Germany's highest-circulation weekly, Stem.
GOOD-BYE, STUPID LITTLE KITTEN!
No, you stupid little kitten, nobody's let you out, although your picture and cry
for help were on display on all the news stands of Europe, where millions of people
saw them, and probably thousands couldn't sleep the following night. But this was
all they did - and we, too. For a mad moment we hoped that some of those boys who
liberate laboratory animals would rush to your rescue, but of course the odds were
heavily against it, because the police protect the laboratory torturers and not their
victims, heroes are few and far between, and the animals slated to die in the pseudo-scientific
laboratories to provide alibis for the drug pushers are millions.
Soon you'll be immobilized in a stereotaxic device, so tightly that you can't move
your head even by a hair breath, maybe two steel rods will be inserted into the enucleated
orbits of your eyes, and two clamps will press your ears so hard that your eardrums
might burst - but don't worry if that happens, because it's not going to influence
the result of the experiment one bit, according to the catalogues of the manufacturers,
Lab-Tronics and H. Neuman and Co, near Chicago, who ship such torture instruments
to laboratories the world over. What counts is to keep you absolutely still, while
the real action gets under way.
White-robed devils, disguised as “scientists", will drill holes into your little
head, and stick cannulas, sensors and electrodes into your little brain, to repeat
on your nervous system pointless experiments that are being done time and time again
since the last century; experiments that have never brought forth any benefit whatsoever,
neither to mankind nor to catdom, but only to the experimenters themselves, procuring
them personal satisfaction, sometimes fame and honors, and maybe even a Nobel Prize
as in the case of Prof WaIter Hess of Zurich University - before - it was discovered
that all his conclusions were erroneous and must have caused untold harm to an undisclosed
number of patients. Anyway, his and his colleagues' pseudo-scientific works still
stand, largely unread, in some medical libraries, and stupid cats like yourself helped
them get there.
For you see, you were only created to "serve" mankind. Don't you know that? Even
the Pope explicitly said so, probably on his assumption that you don't have a soul
(which he can't prove, however), whereas your torturers have one (which he can't
prove either), since they're “made in the image of God". Some image!
And of course the chemistry boys keep repeating it too, the manufacturers of products
that are poisoning the earth and killing people by the millions, the governments
and politicians on their payroll, the faculty professors and presidents of universities,
the media makers who earn a lush living not from reflecting public opinion but shaping
it, and even the heads of the big animal welfare societies like the RSPCA and WSPA
and Eurogroup and HSUS et al who instead of widely advertising the evident, huge
damage that accrues daily to mankind through its erroneous method of medical research,
deliberately hide this fact in smokescreens of inane, philosophical babble - as the
research community wants them to do, under the pretext that humanity has to be “saved",
and that only the sacrifice of you and your kind can do that.
Of course, stupid little kitten, by the time you are clamped down in one of their
stereotaxic contraptions, you've probably come to the conclusion that humanity can't
be all that it's cracked up to be, and darn right you are. In fact, man is the only
animal capable of killing his own offspring because it disturbs him in his sleep.
He is also the only male that beats the female, although some wags will argue that
woman is the only female that deserves to be beaten. And man is the only animal that
murders all known species including his own, far beyond the necessity of survival,
relentlessly fouls, erodes and scars his habitat to the point of inhabitability,
and yet considers himself - just because he can spread more death and mayhem than
all the others combined - the most intelligent of all species, and the only one that
deserves to survive.
What do you expect from such a species, stupid little kitten? But maybe you just
want to know why it's always your kind that is being used for the most painful, long-lasting
experiments that exist. That's because it's your misfortune that you were born with
an extremely sensitive nervous system, far more sensitive than that of your tormentors,
but at the same time you are more resistant than most other animals are. That's why.
But don't cry out when it hurts, stupid. If you do, "they" will cut your vocal cords,
because "they" are tender-hearted and can't stand animals' cries. In fact, many are
not only great philantropists, but also real animal lovers, who say that they suffer
more than you do from the pains they have to inflict on you out of sheer philantropy.
And now good-bye, stupid little kitten. May you be dead before the Christmas festivities
begin, because in those days you risk to remain for days even without water, immobilised
in your device. But don't count on it, because vivisectors like Prof Konrad Akert,
top dog at Zurich University and Prof W.D.M. Paton of Oxford - Sir William, knighted
by her Gracious Majesty the Queen for his relentless work on cats' brains - and their
colleagues have performed these experiments so incredibly often, with idiotic repetitiveness,
that they have become quite proficient at prolonging the agony, even if not one of
them has ever been able to name us a single patient they have cured of anything;
whereas we can name any number of people who have been ruined for life, and even
to death, by their obtuse, counter-productive method of pseudo-research.
But maybe you can get some kind of cold comfort from the following thought, poor
little cat. Just think: from a stupid little head like yours, big men like Sir William
Paton - a Professor at Oxford University, knighted by the Queen! - actually hope
to find out some day what to do about their own defective brains and the big black
hole in them, which worry them so much that brain experiments have become a lifelong
obsession with them.
Now we must really leave you, poor little kitten. May you pass on quickly. It's really
the only thing we can wish to you. Maybe we'll meet some day, in some other world,
which can only be a better one.
